


Guardian on the Bridge - Jared Padalecki Fanfic

by KingofBones



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Ghosts, Reapers, Spirits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 17:07:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10667061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingofBones/pseuds/KingofBones
Summary: Depressed and suicidal, with nothing left to live for and nobody who understands...But there's always a light at the end of the tunnel.





	1. Drowning in Loneliness

_Jared's P.O.V._  
  
  
The railing behind me is cold as ice.

The dark water of the river with gentle waves sparkling in the moonlight below me is likely exponentially colder.

I shiver as the bitter winter night wind picks up again. I think of my wife and children back home, sitting on Genevieve and I's bed, reading stories while warm and cozy snuggled beneath the blankets. I think about how happy they are with her, and she with them. I think of how devastated they'd be when they heard what I had done, when she would have to identify me, and then bury me, years too young.

I've started crying without even realising it, the tears freezing in tracks down my cheeks.

I don't want to leave them, I don't want them to hurt. But I just can't do it anymore, the pain is too much. Everyday is a struggle, and nobody can help because nobody understands exactly how I feel. I feel like I'm empty, like I'm dead already, repeating the same motions everyday without being able to put any heart into it. The hate and insults I get on a daily basis. The many times people have let me down, saying they're there if need be but turning their backs on me.

I look down at the water once again, preparing myself for the jump.  
  
  
  


"The water's pretty tonight, isn't it?"

I jump at the sudden voice beside me and turn, slowly so as to not slip and fall, and come to face a short, young girl, about 19, leaning on the railing and looking at the river. Her hair is long and wavy, about waist length, and pure black. Her eyes are hidden, but she's wearing a dark green jacket, jeans and combat boots.

She looks up and smiles gently at me. Her eyes appear to be a pale gray or blue, it's difficult to tell in the low light. She turns back to the river.

"I come out here every night, to watch to water and just see the simple beauty of the moon. Even in the storms, I come out and feel the power of the wind and rain, listen to the thunder and watch the lightning. I know there's always the possibility of another night being more marvelous than the nights before. I marvel in the little wonders, because curiosity and wonder can do remarkable things."

I stay silent, and she turns to look at me again, before turning back.

"The little wonders can give us purpose," she says quietly. "and curiosity can give us reason to live."

She turns to look at me again, her expression sympathetic, but I'm angry. How can she think that the answer to this is so simple, that I haven't already tried getting better?

"How can you-"

"I was once in your place." She interrupted, and I shut my mouth, now ashamed of myself. A wave of pain washed over me, and all I wanted to do was jump.

I felt her hand on mine, and pushed away the screaming inside my head.

"I assure you," she said, "this isn't the only answer. You can stay, watch your kids grow up and your wife grow old. Things can get better, and you're never alone."

I stared at her, then sighed.

"What's your name?" I asked her.

Her smile grew a bit. "Audrey," she replied. "and your name's Jared, right?"

I sighed again, looking back at the water. "Let me guess, you're a fan of Supernatural?"

She paused, and I turned to look at her again. Her expression was sad. "I used to be. That was before... well, before things happened." I waited for her to elaborate, but she didn't, instead changing the subject back to the show. "I got to season 3. You were my favourite. Anytime I was sad, I would watch the show, and you would always make me smile. One of the rare people that could, actually. That was when I was going through a difficult time, and I rarely ever smiled. Thank you."

I smiled softly, feeling a bit of warmth seep into me, even though the night was still freezing. I suddenly felt... content, I guess. I still wasn't fully okay, but I was not as empty as I had been before, and I realised that what I had been feeling before was not irreversible, that the drastic measures I had been about to take to-

I suddenly realised what I had been about to do before this girl came, and I began to panic, gripping the railing behind me tighter and pressing myself as far back against it as I could, thinking about how to get back over safely. I suddenly felt her hand on my shoulder and turned my head to look at her, eyes wide and breathing fast, to see her eyes searching mine, curious and cautionary.

"Help," I breathed. "Please."

She nodded and released my shoulder, gripping my elbow instead with surprising strength and reaching out her other hand for my other arm. I didn't want to let go for fear of falling, but her eyes told be that I could trust her, that she would not let me fall. I hesitantly let go, turning my body to her before grabbing her hand tightly, and allowing her to help me back over the railing and onto the sidewalk. When my feet hit the ground, she released me, but I just pulled her into my arms, hugging her. She didn't hesitate to hug me back.

Right then, the weight of what I had been about to do combined with the frustration and other emotions came crashing down on me, and I broke down, shaking and sobbing in her arms. For a few moments we simply stood there, me crying and her supporting me, until she gently led us to a nearby bench and sat us down. 

A while later, I finally finished, and I pulled away, sniffling. Audrey sat back, still looking at me.

"Thank you." I said it so softly I was surprised even I heard it, but she smiled slightly and nodded.

We sat in silence for a few more minutes.

Finally, she asked the dreaded question.

"Do you want to tell your story?"

I hesitated, taken aback slightly by the way the question was asked.

Then I did.

We sat there hours into the night, as I talked about everything; my childhood, acting, the breakdown I had in season 3, my triggers, how I hid my depression, and my suicidal thoughts. She listened, and asked questions of all kinds, from my favorite color to how I managed to not have many other breakdowns. She never offered useless advice that you get from shrinks, and not once did she make any judgemental comments. Occasionally I would ask her questions, but she would either answer quickly and simply or just shake her head and ask me a question instead. It never once entered my mind that she was a complete stranger, someone who might want to cause me harm. My instinct and the look in her eyes told me that I could trust her, and I felt that for once I had actually found someone who understood.

As we talked, it felt a huge weight was being lifted from me. That warmth in me that I had felt earlier had grown bigger and stronger. I felt... happier, like I wasn't alone anymore, and so I didn't have to bear the weight of my problems by myself. As we talked, I realised that there were people that cared for me and were willing to support me, and to help me support the weight I carried.

When we finally finished, we were silent again.

Audrey looked at her watch and sighed.

"I'm sorry, but it's almost dawn. I have to leave soon."

I looked at her and smiled a small smile. "It's no problem. Thank you for... For everything. I-" I swallowed. "I can't repay you enough for what you've done."

She smiled, standing from the bench where we had been sitting. "I don't need anything. All I ask is that if you're feeling low, reach out. Please, don't let it come to this again. You have people who care about you and want to help you. If you need, I'm here too. Just come to the bridge anytime between sunset and sunrise, and I'll be here."

She looked at the sky, which was beginning to lighten, and sighed.

"I have to go. Goodbye, Jared."

She turned and walked down a path that led to the riverbed. As the sun rose, a thought occurred to me.

"AUDREY, WAIT---!!!"

The sun blinded my vision, and when I looked to the path again, she was gone.


	2. Who you are

I came back every night for the next week.

Every time we would talk for hours, though never until sunrise like the first night. I would rant about my day and any other issues, and I eventually got Audrey to tell me a bit about herself. Her story was interesting.

She wasn't originally from the area. She moved here 11 years ago when her family fell apart. When I asked her more about them, she just smiled sadly and told me she hadn't spoken to them in over 11 years. Her favourite color was blood red, and wasn't sure what her favourite food was, saying she didn't really pay attention to it. Surprisingly, she was 29. When I asked her why she looked so young, she just smiled and said that she had her ways. She lived nearby, but she didn't work, saying that "I have a purpose, and that's what I do. Money means nothing to me."

I couldn't get much more out of her, including what she meant when she had said that she was once in my place that first night. It bugged me to no end, something about her and her situation felt odd.

I didn't tell Genevieve about Audrey, even though the latter had tried to convince me to. Genevieve just believed that I was going out to bars, and was getting very worried, even though I told her it was fine.

One night I didn't go to the bridge, instead staying home with my family.

The next day, as I was out and about, a kindly old man came up to me and handed me a flyer, asking if I would come to the memorial at the bridge that night.

"Whose is it?"

He looked up at me, tears in his eyes.

"My daughter's." He whispered, then walked off, leaving me with the flyer.

I flipped the flyer over and was met with a large color photograph. The first thing I noticed was a pair of bright, wide dark brown eyes. Then I noticed the hair and face. Long and wavy, about waist length, pure black hair. The familiar facial features.

This was Audrey.

* * *

The bridge was closed off to traffic. There was a fairly large group of people there, each one holding a lit candle and crowded around a large picture of Audrey surrounded by a mountain of roses.

I stood amongst the mourners as they began the ceremony. Her father talked about her childhood, then later in her life, saying that she had moved here for school, which shocked me that he would hide the real reason his daughter fled her life with them. I tuned out her father's speech after that point.

Out of the corner of my eye, at the edge of the crowd, I noticed Audrey, with her long hair and green jacket, staring with a smirk at the flower shrine for her. I slowly made my way over to her, standing beside her and also staring at the roses.

"How-"

She looked up at me, bringing her finger to her lips, telling me to be quiet.

She then leaned up and whispered in my ear, "I hate roses. Think they're cliché and overused."

She went back to staring at the flowers, and for a moment, I just stared at her incredulously, before briefly looking back to the roses. When my eyes flitted back to here she was beside me, she was gone.

* * *

I stayed until the end of the ceremony, before walking off down the path Audrey would walk at the end of our nights together. When I reached the riverbank, I just stood there, staring out at the water, thinking over what I had learned at the memorial.

"This is where they pulled me out."

I turned, and she stood about 5 feet away.

"You killed yourself," I whispered.

She nodded, then looked down, scuffing her shoe against the riverbank.

"I've never told anyone my story before. Never stuck around long enough for anyone else to find out."

She looked up again, no longer smiling.

"My family hated me. You saw how they messed up my story; I was never an extrovert, I never had many friends, I wasn't straight, and I just never wanted to be what they wanted me to be. I was verbally and emotionally abused. My depression started at 13, and my hole only got deeper. I struggled with substance abuse and addiction, cutting, EDNOS and suicidal tendencies.. I ran from my toxic home at 18, but I was still in way too deep."

She looked to the bridge high above us.

"I regretted it instantly," she said quietly. "and when my reaper came, she took pity on me. I didn't want anyone else to make the same mistake that I did. So we made a deal.

As long as a bridge stands at this section of the river or as long as there are people who want to commit suicide here, I stay as a spirit to help guide people away from dying before their time. And when either are gone, then I go willingly."

She smiled at me and took a few steps closer.

"Not a single person has committed suicide off this bridge in 8 years."

I stared at her, unable to form words.

"I help people find their way when they're emotionally lost. When they feel that there's nothing left, I come and show them there's reason to live. I help them and support them until they're alright again, content with being alive."

She was silent for a moment, still smiling softly at me, before I understood what she was saying.

_"I won't see you anymore."_

The words came out breathless, barely a whisper, but she still heard them and nodded.

"You don't need my guidance anymore, Jared. You know that you have people in your life that will support you in everything you do. You know that you are loved, and adored, and _valued._ You have reason to continue living. If you ever doubt any of this again, I cant promise you'll be able to see me, but you can always come here and talk, and I promise that I will always listen. All I ask is that you promise me something before I leave you."

  
I waited for her to continue, as she smiled once again at the bridge.

  
"Promise me that you'll never try to take your own life again, that you'll seek out help from family and friends. Promise me that you won't hide the emptiness. And finally, promise me that you'll notice and help others in the same situation I found you in. Nobody deserves to go out feeling that way. Please, all I ask is that you pass on this small act of kindness."

  
I stared at her, her expression longing. I knew I had to promise her this, because I knew I had to promise it to myself. And when she looked back at me, I knew I could.

  
"I promise."

She looked back at me, gratefulness in her eyes, as she smiled at me and whispered ever so softly "Thank you, Jared."

I blinked, and she was gone.

* * *

I never forgot my promise.

Everyday,  I would try to do acts of kindness, talking to those who sat alone or looked sad, exchanging life stories and just giving  people someone to talk to. Many people were grateful, thanking me for taking the time to listen.

I told Gen, Jensen and Misha about how I had been feeling, and that I had nearly taken my own life, telling them that a random stranger had talked me down and helped me get back on my feet. They felt terrible not having noticed my trouble, but I assured them that it wasn't their faults, that I had hid my depression well. They reassured me that they loved me and supported me. It was a very emotional event.

Every once in a while, especially after a rough day, I would walk down to that riverbank and sit down and talk as if Audrey was right beside me, listening and supporting me. I never saw her again, but I once saw a man climb down from where he had stood on the railing, walk over to the bench and cry his eyes out, and I knew she was there, helping him and doing what she stayed here to do, even if I couldn't see her, and I smiled, knowing the man was in good hands.

I will never forget the guardian on the bridge.

 

 

 

 


End file.
